Has your boss ever called you into an impromptu meeting with him or her and you start to get nervous by thinking of every time you could have possibly done something wrong?

Just imagining that scenario can be nerve wracking, let alone preparing to have a difficult conversation with your employer or employee.

Some employers and employees might try to avoid these conversations at all costs, however, this is not a healthy way to deal with conflict or to build a good working relationship. Sometimes, there need to be tough conversations had between a nanny and the parents who employ them. These concerns should be discussed regularly and handled with a sense of respect and trust, and most of all, with a focus on maintaining a good relationship between both parties for the sake of the children involved. When issues arise, both parties must be able to discuss situations and problem-solve as a team.

At Preferred ChildCare, we want to set both the parents and the nanny up for a successful partnership and encourage them to handle tough conversations with one another. Here are our top suggestions to have a great relationship between a nanny and parents and to make sure issues are addressed the right way.

Set Clear Expectations and Establish Open Communication

The ideal situation for establishing a great relationship between both parties is to have set expectations of the nanny’s responsibilities from the beginning.

As the family, you should be clear about what the nanny needs to do each day, preferably in a handbook, so that the information can be referenced by your nanny at all times. This tool will help eliminate confusion for the nanny and prevent issues at the beginning surrounding duties.

I also highly suggest that both parents and the nanny have a routine check-in time to talk about concerns as they arise so that problems do not fester. You should set a specific day each week to talk when the children are not present and address specific concerns. Having a set time to address these issues will mean that both of you can be prepared to focus on problem-solving and collaborating, contributing to the sense that you both care about doing what is best for each other and the children.

As a nanny, be proactive and ask questions immediately when you need clarification from the parents. Head off potential issues from the start instead of making assumptions if you’re unclear. You should also be proactive in asking for feedback from the family through open-ended questions.

As the family, you should also be open with your nanny and address any changes that might affect their job or the children that they should know about. You can still keep your personal life personal, but realize that there may be instances where your life or situation will affect the nanny and her job with the children. Remember, your nanny is there to help you with your children, and she should be prepared. Establishing an environment for open communication that addresses needs head-on will go miles in creating a trusting relationship between you and your nanny.

Be Considerate of the Other Person

As a nanny and as a family, you are in a unique position of working inside the home with another person. This may lead to a certain level of comfort that can cross lines and personal and professional boundaries if you are not careful.

As the family in the comfort of your own home, you might let your guard down and start to talk to your nanny in a manner that’s more like they’re your friend. Respect the boundaries of your nanny and do not talk about more personal topics. Likewise, nannies should keep a professional relationship with the family.

In your own home, you might also think that it’s no big deal to give extra household responsibilities to your nanny. However, if these extra responsibilities have not been previously discussed with your nanny, they might feel taken advantage of. Always speak with them first about last minute requests or added duties. Your nanny has a right to voice their concern to you if they feel like you are overstepping.

When both of you do have a tough conversation, be sure to be aware of how you come across to the other person. Consider your tone when you speak. Truly try to listen to what the other person is saying instead of just worrying about getting your point across. Show empathy for the other person and try to understand the other person’s point of view and where they are coming from.

Keep the Focus on the Children

Remember the reason why this partnership exists in the first place: to take care of and meet the needs of the children. This should be the focus of the nanny’s duties above all else.

When tough conversations between a nanny and the parents have to be had, both parties need to refocus on the children. Frame problems around how the children are affected when you voice concerns with one another. This is common ground for both of you and can make it easier to understand why certain issues bother the other person when the children are the frame of reference and how they are impacted.

This refocusing also helps both of you avoid blaming the other party and focus on solving the issues at hand. Using “I” statements when addressing issues also emphasize your point of view instead of putting blame on the other person. The main goal should be to solve issues, not to blame one another.

Build a Solid Positive Relationship with One Another

The best tool that can be used to handle tough conversations between a nanny and parents is to do all you can to build a positive relationship with one another.

Spend time building up a bank of gratitude towards one another. Don’t hesitate to share positive feedback when their idea was a success or on wins for the children. Show appreciation toward each other verbally or through a card or other small physical token of appreciation. Constructive feedback also has its place, and when given properly with the right attitude and tone, can also show you care about your work and the other person.

The more energy that you are able to put into this step of building a great relationship, the easier time you will have when you have to face tough conversations with one another.

Handling Tough Conversations Doesn’t Have to be Scary

When, whether as a nanny or as a parent with a nanny, you focus on having a respectful relationship that keeps the children at the center, you are more likely to have an easier time of handling tough conversations when they arise. Make sure to add in a time to regularly address concerns into your week to have an open line of communication and deal with problems head on to develop a healthy relationship between the both of you.

For more helpful tips on how to succeed in creating a great relationship between a nanny and a family, be sure to bookmark my blog to make sure you don’t miss any updates!

For more tips on working with nannies as a parent, follow the Preferred ChildCare blog!